If you're unsure if you're "ready" to see Ready or Not (2019) please run, don't walk, I can assure you, you ARE ready! This is a fun ensemble horror-comedy that really gives us it's all! The characters are developed, the acting is superb, the gore is top-notch, and the story has a very, very satisfying ending. 

*Spoilers*

Ready or Not takes place over the course of a night. Obscenely rich Alex and humble Grace are getting married at his parent's estate. They've earned their money creating playing cards, then board games, sporting goods, and now sports teams. Suspiciously, he gives her multiple chances to call the wedding off, but she's determined to marry into his dysfunctional family for love, not money. He knows something she doesn't. 

On the wedding night, the immediate family is called to the game room, where the new family member gets told the history of the family fortune and are given a wooden box that draws a game for them to play. It could be Old Maid or Chess, but Grace draws Hide and Seek. What everyone there knows except for Grace is that when you draw Hide and Seek you will be hunted to death. Now she must die before dawn, or everyone in the family dies. These are the sacrifices they make to keep their wealth in the name of Satan. 

Alex never told her about Hide and Seek because he didn't want to scare her away, and because it's only happened one other time in his lifetime where someone drew that card. Um, I think I'd still want to know!

Grace thinks the game night is just a weird family tradition, and she hides while each family member is given an antiquated weapon to kill her with, except Alex. The distribution of different weapons to the different characters reminded me of Clue...Emilie with a six shooter in the guest bedroom...(sorry I warned you, this is a "spoiler" section.)

Alex tries to get his new bride out of the house, but things go awry. It's a true roller coaster ride. You learn everyone's motives, but don't know who's good or bad until the end.

You see rich people trying to work for what they believe is the right thing, and Grace has always been alone fighting for herself. So there's a bit of socio-economic underpinnings in the story. She's a true final girl and doesn't need the help of a man to save her. She really evolves from beginning to end. Best of all, she's played by Samara Weaving from The Babysitter, another enjoyable horror comedy.

I love the homage to Heathers at the end where she sits on the steps of the mansion while everything is exploding and on fire behind her and lights up a cigarette. Perfection.

Ready or Not

                        

                            Heathers                                    

The practical effects are refreshing and very well done. The lighting is warm like polished wood. It's darkly funny and fresh. I give it five out of five very sharp daggers. As they say, "Till death do us part."

Here's the trailer...

As an ex-ish-art historian, I have a nice collection of Taschen books in my personal library. Known for reasonably priced quality art books, they recently published a series of books called The Library of Esoterica with subjects that include Tarot, Astrology, and Witchcraft. I had to get the Witchcraft book! 

It's a beautiful visual compendium that summarizes witchcraft, but gives a large enough overview that covers nearly all witchy interests. It covers ancient magical history, world views of witchcraft, and it's evolution. It's a thorough examination of witchcraft that feels current with interviews, explanations, art work, and so many quotes and references you'll want to take a deep dive on your own to find out more. 

There's the Pre-Raphelite classics like The Lady of Shalott by Waterhouse featured.

I was really impressed by how many pieces of artwork, inspired by witchcraft, were made by women. That's not something you learn with a Modern Art History degree, classes always seemed to focus on the work of male artists. It was a nice change. The only thing this book has in common with my old art history books is that it's heavy. Hardcover and over 500 pages you definitely get your moneys worth!

There's more unusual pieces pictured too. Here's one from Penny Slinger called Cats' Eyes from 1974.

One of the editors of The Library of Esoterica: Witchcraft is Pam Grossman. I blogged about her book Waking the Witch. She has a style of writing that's all-inclusive. This book truly makes you feel like you belong, no matter if the word "witch" means outsider, empowerment, or healer to you. All are welcome. 

 The Long Night (2022) aka The Coven isn’t groundbreaking by any means, but it has some striking visuals that would make great one off snapshots, not a full length movie. I almost didn't even want to make a blog out of it because it's not worth the time. 

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

In the whirlwind beginning, we learn about Grace and Jack, a young couple both trying to learn about each other's past. He comes from a rich Hamptons family, and she has been researching her parentage for 10 years. So when she gets a lead to meet her parents, she takes advantage, and they go on a road trip from New York to the deep south. When they arrive at the appointed secluded plantation, odd things begin happening. Grace starts to have dreams and waking visions of a cult in robes, wearing horns and carrying torches. There’s snakes and totems everywhere, and their mysterious homeowner never arrives. Day turns to night, and the cult she sees in her mind is real and surrounding the house. Jack thinks it’s a “good ‘ol boys” southern threat, but Grace seems to know more, we think? Both of them are really scared and intimidated, and the stand-off drags on. She continues going in and out of trances, where the viewer doesn’t know if her visions are real or in her head, or what exactly is going on. The cult members enter the house, attack Jack, and lure Grace out. There are supernatural elements at work, and it’s revealed that there’s a prophecy. Grace is the only one that can free the serpent demon and bring him back. The demon has been a prisoner of the plantation land, and she was born to be it’s host. In a nice contrast, instead of fighting at the climax of the movie, she agrees to “rid the world from pain” and takes the demon into her body. You follow me so far?

It’s broken into chapters that seem redundant, not to mention many slow motion shots trying to fill the space of the movie. The characters actions throughout the movie are extremely questionable and make no sense. I think I yelled WTF at the screen at least three times. The camera angles are strong, there’s a couple jump scares lead by sounds or music, the tone is suspenseful, and the idea of the cult leader being a woman is unexpected. The plot line and the acting are the major flaws in this movie, and watching it makes for a long night. Pun intended. I give this movie one out of five glowing vaginas. (You'd have to watch the whole movie to get the reference, I don't recommend it.)

Trailer, (honestly just watch the trailer, you don't need anything else.)